Stay-cation!

In the space of a day Mentee has been brought in and run away again. She is a lost child, adrift in a world of drugs and prostitution. Her son is going to be recommended for a permanent home, which sounds like adoption, but I think there might be more hoops to jump through for that. I think my brother and his wife would be the perfect choice for the beautiful boy--they have already adopted one child and I think another would be a blessing for them. He isn't mine to give away though and I am sure that the red tape is boundless.

****

I am officially on vacation! For two weeks! And I am getting paid for the entire thing! Can I use any more exclamation points??? Probably! My plans are to go window shopping downtown, get my hair did up pritty, see friends and relatives and probably do some marathon canning and baking. I got some craigslist skis today for cheapo and will get to use them on Monday, skiing with some of my Dad Family.

Today was my last day at work before vacation. I had a lot of stange experiences with patrons. I had to tell the same person 10 different rules they were breaking, one at a time. Then there were comments from the peanut gallery when I had to ask a man to keep his large frame backpack with him and when I asked another man to respect others when using his cell phone. Other patrons came out and said "yeah" and "you better shut up" when I was talking to these two--I told them I had it under control. Later, a patron I know well came up and told me that someone else at the computers had said I was "mean" after I asked another woman to keep her belongings with her. Well, I tried to be polite. Can't make everyone happy I guess.

On the other hand, I had a pretty darn good yearly review and a teen I know from the Interagency School came in and brought me the CD she made of her own music! Sorry, more exclamation marks. I got excited there for a moment because I hadn't seen her for a while and I was sure she had forgotten who I was. Turns out I lost her to another branch. But she came in today and brought me this CD and when I got home and listened to it I was blown away. It was so good. We had a great conversation and I recommended a book to her that we had just gotten on promoting your band. It was probably the most teen librarian moment I have had in forever--a great way to end the work day and to start vacation.

Busy December

No new information in libraryland, so I have directed my attention towards getting ready for my two week vacation. I am not going anywhere, besides going to Spokane for a couple of days. Family is coming to visit me though, and I will get to spend some good quality time with the ones that live here already. I am REALLY looking forward to it.

I finally rode my bike again yesterday, after a week off. I didn't feel prepared for the extra cold weather, even though it was mostly sunny. Yesterday was pretty rainy, so it was a good day to get back on the bike ;) I was a little tired during, but it went well. I am impressed that I am still riding in December, although the weather isn't much different right now than it was in September; 47 and raining.

Most presents have been bought. I actually have some wrapping paper that I like. Cards are made and ready to be filled out--ok, those might be a little late getting to people.

Mentee is still MIA, which is sad. She ran off the day before she was supposed to visit her son. We all felt that she sounded sincere when we talked to her, that she was ready to settle in and do better.

I worked at the University District Service Provider Alliance holiday dinner for youth on Monday. I got to see a few of the kids I know from UDYC. This year I helped in the general store, where kids that didn't have a Secret Santa got to spend fake money on stuff like warm coats, sleeping bags, toiletries, gift cards, and a few highly sought after electronics. Last year I was a table captain--someone who made sure that the rules of conduct were followed, but also just hung out and spent time with the youth at the table. This year was definitely less interactive, but I still had a good time. Costumes were required, so I went as an elf--striped sleeves and socks, green knee pants, red circles on my cheeks. I should have taken a picture, but I seem to be photo-deficient lately. No excuse, really.

Flight, Family and Fuzziness

And of course she ran away again on Sunday. At least I got a chance to talk to her though and really tell her that I am here for her, whether or not she is following the rules. We'll see if she comes around.

****

I had a wonderful Thanksgiving in Spokane. We had a great family dinner on Thursday, then on Friday went to the Rocket Bakery on Cedar and 1st and had an awesome lunch with Dr. T's brothers and sister in law and two nefews. We also went to the Whitestone tasting room and enjoyed tasting Mr. M's own wine blend, Pieces of Earth.

I had been feeling weird since Wednesday though and when I went to work on Saturday I was pretty much a wreck. I was dizzy and couldn't concentrate. By Sunday I was a lump and didn't do more than watch tv all day. The only change I could think of was the antibiotics I have been taking for a tenacious case of acne, but I didn't think that could be the culprit. Finally I looked at the label to check and low and behold it can cause "dizziness, blurred vision". So I stopped taking it Sunday and called the doctor on Monday morning. I picked up some new, less lumpishness causing antibiotics yesterday.

Yay!

I have so many things to be thankful for these days. A rewarding job that isn't going anywhere (whew), a wonderful family including my pretty good son and my lovely boyfriend, a bike that gets me where I am going and a car that is running well even though she is 17 years old--and gets good gas mileage.

I just got another thing to be thankful for. My mentee is back in the system and seems to be really interested in doing better and staying off the streets. I just talked to her and even though phone conversations can be awkward, I told her point blank that I care about her and what happens to her, and that if things did go wrong again, she can still call me and talk. You have to take these opportunites while you have them (as I learned while she was missing). It sounds like her baby is doing well and she has already had 2 visits and behaved like a parent, interested in being with her child. I am really proud that she is always so level headed with him. We talked about school; she is doing well in her classes so far and is going to join the basketball team. I was also told that while she was gone, despite being surrounded by crack and meth, the only drugs she did were pot and x. She was tested, it is true. To some that might sound like a lot, but it was recreational use (parties) and being around the other and having a history with them, it is really something.

I invited her for a family dinner at my house next Saturday. My Dad's Family* will all be there and we are planning on playing games and having dinner. It will hinge on whether her social worker can swing the permission.

Tomorrow Dr. T and I are heading for Spokane. We are having dinner at my Step Dad's with my Mom's Family*. It will be a whirl wind trip, since I have to work till 8 tonight and in the morning on Saturday, but it will be so nice to see everyone and to visit with my little niece :)

*Dad's Family=Dad, his wife and my siblings on his side, as opposed to my Mom's Family, which is really comprised of my siblings on her side, my step dad and his wife and not my mom at all. Family gets complicated.

Youthful Ignorance

Last week I spoke on a panel for the JRA mentor program. One of my mentee's friends was in attendance, so I was able to send her a note. I figure I will give her a week, then try to call her again. The panel went well. I was one of 3 that talked about my experience mentoring with the Juvenile Rehabilitation Administration. It is hard to believe that I have known my mentee for over a year now.

****

I got a little upset today reading a police officer's blog (might have been Seattle, but could have been further South. Update #3: He is a Seattle Police Officer, based on his own comments). I would link it here, so that you could share in my sadness, but I don't feel like giving him any further hits. I am irritated that I gave him my own. Anyhow, he commented about how homeless youth migrate North and South with the weather, and how awful they are and that most of them are homeless because they want to be. Having volunteered at drop in for homeless youth and working with the interagency school through work, I can tell you that isn't true. There are a lot of factors that go into youth deciding to leave home. Why would anyone choose to sleep on the street, in constant fear for themselves and their few belongings, always battling the weather, when they could be at home with a loving family? Most youth choose the street because home is much worse, or because of mental health issues or drug addiction. Some girls are tricked in to prostitution by men/boys that pretend to love them and then are too afraid to leave. I found out about this blog because the officer in question doesn't seem to understand that copyright is a law and he stole an image from a blogger who chronicles her time with homeless youth through photos. And yes, if you follow that link, you can find the other. Update #1: that blogger pulled down her rant after the cop took off her picture. I have changed my mind about linking to him, as the more people that know about it the better: http://law-chronicles.blogspot.com/2009/11/wasted-youth.html

Despite the backlash likely to happen, I commented on his blog. He screens his comments though, so you won't find it, at least not yet. I am sure he thinks I am full of sh** and that his time as a cop and a soldier make him an expert, without ever delving further into that world than he has to to arrest whomever doesn't fit into his definition of polite society (which from reading the rest of the page, is really no one--there isn't much respect for human rights portrayed there). Update #2: He didn't post my comment, maybe because I gave him a hard time about using someone elses work without asking, but maybe because he didn't like my argument against his broad generalizations.

I know there is a division between police and citizen here in Seattle. I don't know any officers personally, although the police men and women who come into the library seem nice enough. While I find the attitude portrayed in the blog exaggerated and ridiculous, I have felt the same way about some people's opinions of police officers (pigs, The Man, etc.). I don't like hasty generalizations about any group and try to keep from making them myself. I guess it is preferable to have these people blathering on in public so that we can be aware that they exist, rather than hiding away until they do something stupid.

Loose End Roundup

My flickr account occasionally gives me little gratifying (or not) gifts. A few weeks ago someone from Schmap!! asked if they could use one of my pictures from a recent hiking trip to Sol Duc Falls in their online travel brochure/app. Why not? So I said yes and it is one of the many featured here under Olympic Peninsula. I feel like it would have been more useful if they had at least tagged the location where the shot was taken. If you know me, and want to look for the photo, it is under my maiden name.

Speaking of Maiden Names, I have been considering going back to mine for years. Every 6 months or so I look up the how, why and when, then look at the cost and put it off a bit further. $150 isn't that much to pay to change your name, but then you have to send a certified copy of the name change to every creditor and institution that you do business with as well, and each of those suckers costs $5. Then there is the passport. Mine doesn't expire until 2012. To change your name on it is the same as getting a new one. And what about my certificates and degrees? I guess I could just file them away instead of having them on the wall. So I keep putting it off. Maybe it can be my alter ego, my superhero name. I can have it embroidered on my undies. >:-P

I had a whirlwind of news on my mentee last week, that put me emotionally through the ringer--mostly today when I sat down to put my contact log together. She called her social worker and said she was going to turn herself in and wanted a foster care placement. The social worker found one but in Covington, so when the time came, Mentee refused to come in because Covington is so far away. I am on a fence about this--the reason she ran away last time was because she was stuck out in Shelton. Maybe she is just being realistic about her ability to live out in the middle of nowhere? But understandably, the social worker threw her hands in the air and said "whatever! Figure your own sh** out" (my interpretation). That basically means she will have to turn herself into the authorities and go to detention, then get another placement. This is another black mark on her record of abandoning her baby. She won't answer the phone when I call, or she sometimes does, but hangs up on me. We never got to make the bond I was hoping for and for a while she thought it was my job to spend time with her. I am sure that colored things. Or maybe she worries that I would turn her in. It hurts that I can't help her or her son. I can't see him unless she gives permission, so I don't know how he is either. Anyhow, I will keep her in my thoughts, but I am going to stop feeling guilty (or try to) for not being closer to her. For now, it is out of my hands.

I am still riding to work once or twice a week, despite being sick or tired or just grumpy. I am starting to feel fit, rather than just staying the same, which is helping motivate me through this ugly fall weather. Random thoughts I have had while riding: REALLY glad I bought the rain pants from REI and coat from Second Ascent, I love how the leaves look on the library lawn after it has been mowed, I really don't mind the rain--it feels like home.

Running with the Ball

I suppose I should update after my anxious post the other day. Nothing good has happened. Mentee ran away from the group home almost right after she was dropped off, essentially abandoning her baby a second time. She was supposed to go to court about whether she could get custody back on Friday, but since she didn't show up she will have to fight a lot harder later if she wants to try. Right now, her baby is in foster care and unless Mentee gives up her parental rights and allows him to be adopted, that is where he will stay until she gets her act together. Many of the homeless youth I see at the drop in center were from foster care situations. Mentee herself didn't have a family to take care of her. I want to bang my head on the wall right now. The child does at least have a chance to have a normal life and babies have an easier time in foster care, usually.

****

I saw my old friend today, and it was just like we had seen each other last week, instead of 7 years ago. We had a god time chatting and shopping and we plan to hang out again next week. I really thought I was going to have some abandonment issues with her, since she really just dropped out of my life one day--although I allowed it to happen. I deleted her phone number from my phone and decided I wasn't going to call her unless she called me first (it had been a one sided communication line for a while). She didn't call and the rest is history. No issues though, just talking and laughing and remembering.

****

The Boy is playing football, which wreaks havoc on the weekend schedule. I get him on Friday, take him back on Saturday for his game then take him back to school on Monday. For those of you that don't know, it takes 1.5 hours one way to BFD. Good think I have books on CD to listen to. I almost want to go out and drive somewhere just so I can find out what happens to Jenna Fox. I have been meaning to read this book for over a year, and I can see what the hype was about.

Anyhow, he hasn't gotten to play a JV game yet and only played a few minutes in the first varsity game that I saw. His first JV game was canceled because the opposing team got stuck in traffic and couldn't make it. They will have a rematch in October some time. The teams seems really well organized this year and the coach has things well in hand. They play like a real team and they have won all their games but one so far.

****

I am baking bread again. Today was a semolina rosemary bread. It turned out a bit flat, but the texture and taste are amazing. No pictures until I get the rise right.

Babies Having Babies

My mentee was picked up on her warrant yesterday morning. She didn't have her child with her, but he was tracked down later in the day and is now in custody. My mentee is likely out of detention by now, but I don't know where she is or where she will end up. I have been playing phone tag and email tag with her social worker for the last day or so. The social worker's emails have been cryptic and uninformative, even though that used to be her preferred mode of communication. Now she seems to want to talk on the phone, but hasn't been available at the same times I have.

So I am frustrated and feeling ineffectual. My mentee's cell phone just rings and rings. I know that her family, what little she has, does not show support for her. She has messed up and I don't know how badly. She is only 17 and has never had a good support network. The foster family she lived with, that she lost her placement with, was the closest thing she had. She wasn't ready to be a parent, but she was doing pretty well, and now she may have lost custody.

Just biding my time until I can do something.

Still Crazy

I have been promising a wedding recap for a week now, but things are still so busy, it will have to be a short one.

The bride was absolutely gorgeous. She was definitely not a bridezilla and everything was so laid back. I can't imagine how stressed I would have been if Sister M had been a task master. This wedding was proof that you don't have to control every little aspect of your wedding and everything will still turn out ok. I actually think that trying to do so will make something go wrong.

We had a great time. The ceremony was short, beautiful, two of my brothers did readings. Kissyfur read "Oh, the Places You'll Go" by Dr. Seuss and Manny read an Irish wedding blessing. Little Bear was a flower girl and she was so cute walking down the aisle with a 4 year old boy from the grooms family, her flowers falling out of her basket on accident. The two girls, Bear and little J, did an impromptu tumbling act on the steps until their mothers took them in hand. After food and the traditional cake cutting, toast and bouquet/garter toss, the dancing began. More tradition, the bride and groom danced, then the bride and her father and the groom and his mother. After that, our side of the family went all in. We danced to the corniest and the funniest and the fastest music. We kept the dance floor alive up till the last minute when the caterers were kicking us out. My feet hurt soooo bad after! It was so much fun!

When I came back to Seattle, it felt really good to be here after a week gone. It was even cool that it was raining, because it made it feel even more like home. I am still super busy until Monday. Dr. T is moving into my apartment and The Boy and I are camping with Dad's Family this weekend. That is getting cut short now because The Boy starts football practice at 8 am on Monday morning.

And now my mentee is AWOL. She went to visit friends in Kent on Monday and never went home. They are putting a run notice on her now. I hope the baby is ok.

Today, Tomorrow and Yesterday

So much keeps happening, I just can't keep up!

Dr. T graduated from Medical School over the weekend. There was much celebrating. His mother and brother came, as did his dad and some friends of the family. We all met up at the convocation, then everyone came to my place for a bbq. It definitely had a different feel from when I have a party, but that is probably because I don't know these folks as well, although they are all really nice. We did some sight seeing with Dr. T's mom and brother--hit the Seattle Center, the Ballard Locks and stopped in at the Fremont Sunday Market. It was a good time and I am so proud of my baby. Good job Dr. T!

On Sunday we also said farewell to our interim manager, who was with us for almost a year. We had a little picnic at the local park and talked around the circle. It was a nice evening, even if it was a little cool. The Boy had to miss all of the outings besides the graduation ceremony due to homework avoidance.

On Monday I had a driving marathon. It was a real test for Lady Gray, but she ran like a champ. I guess if she can get me to Nevada and back, she can get me all over the Puget Sound. I took The Boy to school in BFD in the morning, had about a half hour at home before I drove to Shelton to take my mentee to a bbq in Auburn. I dropped her and Little D off at the bbq, then ran some errands. She reminded me that she was a teenager when it was time to go home. She tried to talk me into leaving her there. To her credit, when I showed up at 6, she was ready to go and didn't argue at all. We had some good talking on the way back.

Rode to work this morning. Actually, to Roosevelt HS where I met 4 other librarians in an attempt to woo high schoolers into coming to Summer Reading programs--FREE BOOKS! You know you want one!

It's Raining It's Pouring

Not sure why this rain is so tenacious. It must have been raining all night. I woke up early this morning, fumbling to the bathroom with all intents to go back to bed (I still might), when I step off the carpet into water. Splash, tepid wetness on my feet, between my toes, waking me up... It wasn't so bad, easily cleaned with a mop and I unclogged the drain outside the door to let the backed up water swirl down. Then I went to the computer to check the weather forecast (rain) and thought I heard water pouring in the storage room, where there should be no water to be poured. By the time I got in there with the flashlight, the sound was gone. There was a lonely puddle of water on the floor, again, not too bad. So I moved a couple boxes out of the way and called the landlords. I think it is coming in some vent pipes and leaking out of the furnace somewhere. I could hear gurgling (much like pouring) when the furnace turned on. That's a lot of rain.

This weekend was both lame and great. Lame because I had to work all weekend with The Boy here. Great because we had my Dad family over for dinner, minus Dad--Sorry! It was a beer tasting party. Dr. T and I made beer from the set up that two of my sibs gave me for xmas. The Dunkel Weissen was pretty tasty. Now we have to decide what to make next. Dinner turned out yummy too, even if it was an hour later than I thought it would be. We split into various entertainments and whiled the time away. Wii was played, others chopped things in the kitchen. I showed my sister's my p-patch and they were soon drawn away to the more interesting things growing in the more established plots. We packed the visit up fairly early as The Boy had school in the morning and Sister U still had studying that night.

Yesterday I went to see my mentee. I brought her some baby clothes and we chatted for a little over an hour. I keep wanting to take her out to do things, but her baby is still pretty young. She looked a lot healthier and happier this time around. The baby was darling. He is starting to fill out a little and he has the straightest, shiniest black hair you have ever seen on anyone.

I think that now I am going back to bed.

Making Friends

I could not get to sleep last night, so please forgive me if I am out of sorts.

I talked to my mentee last night. She had her first interaction with life as a single parent yesterday and she was totally upset. She is really still a kid, and it is hard work taking care of a baby when all you want to do is hang out with your friends. It is obvious that she loves the child, but I think she is seeing the other side of having a child attached to you with all it's needs and wants for the next 18 years. I reminded her that she still has choices, but that she should get some sleep and think on it all a bit.

***
I have an awesome friend that I haven't seen much in the last 4 years. She has been in medical school and sometimes she has a tough time dealing with the stress of school, kids and life, so she withdraws from anything she doesn't have to do. That includes me most of the time. You might think that is harsh, but we've talked about it--talked about it before hand, actually. I miss my friend and there have been a few rough patches when it would have been nice to have someone to talk to and she wasn't available. I got used to it though, and I think it made me a stronger person, to learn another's boundaries and how to work through things on my own (that took a bit of work too, and I ran at the mouth to a couple of people that I shouldn't have at one point or another). We do still spend time together, but it is only about 4-6 times a year. Enough back story, to the point.

Last week, when I was sitting at Canal Street Coffee after my long bike ride, I looked around and found her in everything. I saw several women who looked like her, lithe and athletic, with long golden brown hair and big sunglasses. I felt her in the sunshine and the coolness of the shade. I heard her laughter as I watched other friends chatting over their lattes. The whole thing reminded me of when we were undergrads together, sitting in her front lawn watching the kids play ball or just sitting and talking. Of our bike rides to Magnuson and our swim practices at Meadowbrook. Our easy coexistance. That was before we were roommates, before our boyfriends, before our kids turned into teenagers.

I sent her a text that day, telling her that I miss her. I didn't hear back that day, but about a week later I got the sweetest voice mail that told me she is feeling the same. She is almost done with medical school and is working for a year before she starts her residency. I am looking forward to sitting on the lawn again, watching our teens have water fights and become friends like us, chatting about nothing and everything.

Mentors and such

I should mention, to update, that I cannot have an official mentor. Being temporary makes me ineligible for quite a few things and makes many other things much more difficult (if I want a bus pass at the discount that other employees get I have to go to the 43rd floor of some building downtown). I don't mind though, this is the best opportunity ever. And hey, I have a mentor, it is just unofficial.

I have been lucky in that respect. When working for Sno-Isle I also had a great mentor. A manager that was respectful, understanding and knowledgeable. She really helped me see where I wanted to go without being pushy or dismissive. Now I have an example that is on the move. He is going places. I like seeing different perspectives to the same career. It is highly motivating.

I also enjoy the meetings with my fellow teen librarians. Hearing what is going on at their branches or at central keeps me going with my own projects.

I have added an XML link to my blog page for those of you that want to add it to your reader. If you use rss, I understand that you have to add "?alt=rss" to the end of the url. It is the blue button under the "I Power Blogger" button. I am getting good at this, and in only a few hours.